Just Having Fun

By Wendy Friedlander

So there’s this boy. And you like him. A lot.

“Oh that Johnny! He is hot! I really like him. We have so much fun together.”

You decide to let things progress and you and Johnny sleep together.

You and Johnny are having so much fun that before you know it, your fun times are getting serious in your mind and you start fantasizing about doing more with Johnny than hanky-panky.

Trouble is, you aren’t sure Johnny is thinking the same thing.

You ask your girlfriends what they think. You go through his behavior and look for hints that he is getting as serious about you as you are with him.

But then, as time goes on and the only thing Johnny seems to be around for is fun, you start to realize that maybe he’s still just having fun.

And you, you’re committed.

“That Johnny is a player.” You tell yourself. You cry to your friends about it. You wonder when you will ever meet a guy who wants to get serious.

“Why does this keep happening?” You wonder as you go through all the other Johnnies who have slipped away.

You try to take an objective look at yourself. You wonder why you keep falling in love while every guy just wants to have fun.

You are not alone. This happens to women all the time.

It’s a pattern. An unhealthy pattern that puts your most vital organ in harms way, your heart.

Energetically speaking, a woman’s reproductive center, her uterus and cervix, is connected to her pericardium, which is a sac that contains her heart.

And what is your heart? It’s your center of love.



When a woman has sex, she has an energetic exchange that leaves a mark on her heart.

Quite literally, a woman falls in love through sex.

Men, lacking the same reproductive organs, do not.

Men can have all the sex they want and it in no way creates the same feelings of love that affect woman.

So, as a woman, it is your responsibility to protect your heart.

Does that mean avoiding sex?

Not necessarily.

It means understanding the risks of having fun. Every time you have sex, you are opening your heart, an opening that does not happen automatically for your partner.

It means that if you want to be in a serious relationship know he loves you before you take that step.

When a man loves you. You know it. A man in love is dedicated. He comes after you.

So, instead of having fun and seeing where it goes, wait for him to come to you and then have some fun.

Sat Kriya

Sat Kriya is a fundamental Kundalini Yoga meditation that re-channels sexual energy around your body. In other words, it’s a meditation that makes it a little easier to postpone having fun when that loud voice in your head says “Come on! It’s been too long! Just one time! He’s not going to wait for you! Go for it!”

1. Kneel on the ground and then sit on your heels (this is known as rock pose)
2. Raise arms above head and interlace fingers
3. Extend the index fingers to point straight up and touch fingertips. Try your best to keep your palms touching, your elbows straight and inline with your ears.
4. While remaining in this position chant “Sat Nam” repeatedly for 3 minutes, working up to 11 min.
5. Rest on your back for at least a minute

Note: Pull in on your navel with “Sat” and then release with “Nam.” Pull in so tight you get a bonus stomach workout without doing any sit-ups!

Recommended music:
Track #4 on Bhakti Naam by Dr. Joseph Michael Levry (http://www.rootlight.com/music-bhakti-naam.htm)

About the author: Wendy is a single mom, cancer survivor and yogi. She traveled the world to find health and is grateful to share the tools and knowledge she gained on the way. Learn more athttp://wendyfriedlander.c

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About the Author:
Wendy is a single mom, cancer survivor and yogi. She traveled the world to find health and is grateful to share the tools and knowledge she gained on the way. Learn more athttp://wendyfriedlander.com

You can reach Wendy at wendy@lovethroughwisdom.com; her website is notesofgratitude.me

Trustworthiness

By Marivir R. Montebon

Relationships last because of trust. Nothing will ever glue a relationship more formidably than it can, whether it is a relationship between parent and child, husband and wife, friends, lovers, even boss and employees, king/queen and subjects, or president and the public.

The truth is, a loving relationship is fundamentally rooted on trust. Love is a higher form of expression of selflessness which, in social realm, occurs only when the basic trust for an individual is present.

Psychology stalwarts Sigmund Freud and Erik Erikson have postulated theories on personality development citing trust and the ability to trust as to have developed in the very early stages in life. While Freud calls it the oral and anal stages, Erikson calls its the basic trust vs. mistrust stage. This is when the individual is still in ages 0-5, where he/she basically feels that the need for food and warmth are provided when necessary, then the core trust is developed.

Towards their adult life, children who were not neglected, physically and emotionally, tend to become easily more trusting and trustworthy, these personality theories say. There is great logical sense in that, putting aside factors on culture, personal circumstances, and political and economic conditions.

Perhaps some people may just be so blessed to be born in a nurturing environment that helps shape a trustworthy and loving character in them.

In our issue today, psychotherapist Debbie Almocera talks about getting together with old friends, associating fun with friends, food, and fruit salad in her Cranial Corner.

It is a heartwarming, nostalgic piece, because I wasn't able to join them. In this article, my heart is tickled because I know they were talking lengthily of me in my absence. However, the trust is there, that they spoke well of me and all the others who skipped the reunion. I missed them all right, as well as the belly laughter and the fruit salad.

OSM!'s Debbie Almocera and Ruth Ezra are college buddies, a friendship that has spanned for more than 20 years, and has reached the west side of the world. That is clearly a relationship based on trust, never rotting through time.

Our issue features Yoko Matsushita Cano, a musician who started her studies and career early in the US. She has blossomed to be the fine artist that she wants to be, as well as becoming a mom in these trying times. Trust is one basic element in her relationship with her husband, a Mexican. Trust transcends cultural boundaries, making a relationship work. And she trusts in her talent and with her young family inspiring her, Yoko for sure will continue to shine.

Recipe for Fun: Friends, Food, and Fruit Salad

BY DEBBIE ALMOCERA

Last weekend friends from Chicago and West Virginia came to visit, and as usual, we had a great time cooking (mostly them), eating (mostly I), and laughing.  Those of you who are familiar with Filipino get-togethers know that this cyclical pattern of eating and laughing is not uncommon.  The opportunity to be with people you know very well, preparing food you grew up with but offensive to your neighbor’s olfactory senses, and laughing hysterically over inside jokes told over and over again, is priceless.

Most of the blabbering going on in these gatherings focused on the “good old times”, and the “OMG she/he did what?” moments.  Talking about friends who are not present in the shindig is imperative if not downright exciting.  Mind you, we do warn them that not showing up means granting us unmitigated permission to talk about them.  Their absence would serve as additional spice to our delicious entrée’s.  And so forgive us, but you didn’t show up.

I make no excuses for gossiping about my dear old friends, as I know that they would do the same thing with me. Having known my friends for so long, I actually feel flattered to have them reminisce about me and my boring existence.  We talk about those who didn’t come, not to poke fun at them, nor to make us look good, (as usually the case for gossip), but mainly because we miss them and nothing would make the party more meaningful to us than their presence.

We talk about the past reminiscent of the commitments we shared, and the dedication to a cause we strongly believed in.  We immerse ourselves in those times again, reliving the experiences, laughing at our follies, and talking about the “strategic stalemate” that never happened.  At that time, we never imagined we would have a life so drastically different from what we thought we were heading towards.  Some of us even thought our lives were already “planned” and laid out for us.  Still, a few of us, managed to pursue other dreams, thought of as reflective of our decedent bourgeoisie background.  A few remained unnerved by the uncertainty of the political times and continued to demonstrate advocacy to a cause they would continue to fight for.

I like to think that we are not forgotten, nor are we forgetting those who stood by us, side by side in the main thoroughfares of Cebu and Manila, and other major cities in the country. We marched and made noise, and declared with resolute conviction and uncompromising stance, our dedication to the ideals we believed in.  We showed courage in confrontation, debated and argued our case with confidence and un-relentless passion.   We defied people of authority and challenged the status quo.  We declared that academic institutions are a hindrance to our real education.  We lost some friends.   We were there, and no one could argue that we made an impact.

But what have we really learned in those years of “struggle”.  Now that we sit in our air-conditioned offices, order food to be delivered when we’re “too busy” to leave the office, take vacation days “to get away”, and most of all,make sure we send our kids to the best schools, when we didn’t believe in “education”?
As my friend from West Virginia would say, we learned to appreciate the value of sharing, the importance of sacrifice, and the art of simple living.   We may have comfortable homes with all the amenities we only dreamed of once upon a time, but the greatest fun we had was sleeping on the floor with barely a blanket to warm us, sharing pillows and laughter, and yes, fruit salad .

So we like to get together, to eat and laugh, knowing that we once shared a cause that changed our lives.  And we remember those who are not with us, but wished they were.  We know that if you could only show up, you would.  Meantime, we will talk about you, as if you were there.

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Debbie Almocera is a licensed therapist working in the behavioral medicine department of one of the largest hospitals in St. Louis, Missouri. For her, there has not been a more fulfilling and rewarding career than the one she has now. She can be reached at dholderle@yahoo.com