Through Triumphs and Tragedies

By Marivir R. Montebon

It felt like I was knocked down last night. The defeat of Philippine boxing champ Manny Pacquiao to Juan Manuel Marquez was a personal tragedy and for his legions of fans as well.

One gets shocked at how the formidable Pacquiao fell fast and flat on his face on the sixth round. And gripping fearful when he was totally out for more than a minute. That was horrible!

Athletes have their glory days and tragedies. I feel for Pacquiao, as I feel for a figure skater who miscalculates and lands her body on ice and instead of her feet, or when a gymnast falls from the uneven bars. Despite those unfortunate miscalculations, I still admire the discipline and grace they bear in the moment of defeat. It happens.

If for anything, the Pacquiao-Marquez fight last night was an ego trip and not a title bout. It should give Pacquiao some soul searching as to whether he has to retire as a boxer and concentrate on public service. No easy feat for a man on top of his career. But then, one has to understand the law of Physics, what goes up naturally goes down. Perhaps Pacquiao should have kept his winning title on the third fight with Marquez where he won. As he humbly admits, he did not see it coming.

Overall, I am sympathetic. And I congratulate Marquez who seized the moment.

For us all, the game of life continues.

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Why I Read

By Janet Villa
Today Anna asked me five why’s in quick succession. When I ran out of answers, I had to do the only quick survival tactic available to tired mothers: I pointed out the window and shouted, “Look!” (So what if every slapstick comedian does that? It worked this afternoon.)
One day Anna is going to ask us, why is the sky blue? My first thought is, “Because it doesn’t look good in red.” It might make her laugh, perhaps make her think out of the box, maybe exercise her imagination, but in the end it won’t help her much.

So this is what it also means to raise a mother—I have to read.

I read because I know so little. I’m not as smart as a fifth-grader. I don’t have to be all-knowing to Anna; heaven knows pretending can only take me so far. But I fear that an “I don’t know” might come across as “I don’t care to know.”

I read because given my influence in this phase of Anna’s life, our mother–daughter dynamics take after the usual writer–reader dynamics: whatever interests me interests her; whatever does not interest me would hardly interest her. An “I don’t know” does not excite curiosity.

I read because learning fuels my thinking and Anna’s. Reading uncovers mysteries. Books open doors. Understanding opens hearts. An “I don’t know” repels questions.

I read because I do not know enough to make a good decision. Sir Francis Bacon taught me, “Read not to contradict and confute, not to believe and take for granted, not to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider.” An “I don’t know” sows apathy or prejudice.

I read so that a world—not just this one—comes alive for Anna: people jump off the page, colors shimmer with texture, and sounds vibrate with meaning. Fish can talk, and furry monsters like green eggs and ham. An “I don’t know” smothers the imagination.

I read because many times other people’s thoughts are better than my own. Before Anna graced our lives, I was devouring books and websites on parenting. Some people told me, “You do not learn parenting from books.” But I thought, “Neither can I learn it from ignorance.” While mothering does require instinct and intuition, an “I don’t know” hints at hubris.

I read to find my way and to know the direction Anna should go. For my husband and me, the Bible is our first-stop resource. I read it now with a growing awareness of my and Anna’s need for a Savior and a gratitude for the undeserved mercy. An “I don’t know” echoes in eternity.

I know someday I will have to answer Anna with an “I don’t know.” On that day I pray I will have the time and the patience to add to my answer,  “Let’s find out the answer together.” She and I will write down her question in a notebook I’ve created: Anna’s Book of Questions. Then perhaps on another day we will ask for help—from her Daddy, from family and friends, from books, from the Internet.

I understood early on: It takes a village to raise a mother. Mothers from all over the world, sharing their wisdom and experience in books and on websites, have helped me collect information and select what I need to help Anna and me and our peculiar temperaments.

Even Anna knows it. Last week she got off her chair and said, “Mommy, help Anna wash hands.” As I led her to the sink, she said, “Everybody needs help, right, Mommy?” Yes, sweetie, everybody needs help. Especially a mommy.

Christmas in the East and West

By Marivir R. Montebon

I grew up celebrating Christmas in the most joyous of ways in my home country, the Philippines, which lies in the Far East.  In fact, my heart can still vividly recall the jubilation of my youth during this season. It has molded many of us that at this time, we think of what gifts to give our friends, parents, and teachers.  It is also the time of family get-togethers, and of parties with friends and work colleagues. Despite the year-long challenges and difficulties, most Filipinos look forward to Christmas as a time of togetherness and gratitude. This value I so hold dear, despite my relocation in the US.

The Philippines is host to the longest Christmas celebration in the world. When the Roman calendar enters the "ber" months (September, October, November, and December) up until January of the following year, it is Christmas in the Philippines.  The long celebration is not surprising because the Philippines is the only predominantly Catholic country in Asia, being a colony of the Spain for over 300 years.

Spain and America have made the celebration of Christmas in my country highly religious and yes, highly commercial. But in that outright imposition of power and influence, lies the personal impact of thoughtfulness and unity that bind families and friends together. It has become a welcome culture among us, and has meant to have some functionality in our practical lives.

For someone growing up in the merriment of Christmas, any attempt to equalize its celebration with the other holidays in the name of religious equality (at least by one atheist group) in the US, is to me unnecessary, insensitive, and truly disrespecting.

American leaders have so much major concerns to get busy themselves with, instead of working on legislation to stop the greeting of Merry Christmas or changing the name Christmas tree into something else. I just wish they let the culture of faith and positivity, which is getting more and more scarce these days, thrive.

The issue at hand is not much on religious equality, but rather supporting, instead of suppressing each religious celebration's expression of unity and faith.

Christmas in the East and West may have clearly distinct faces and depth. In the US, one could get drowned by the spectacle of bright neon Christmas lights and fireworks and awesome extravaganzas of stage shows, and short-time parties.



In the East, one could just be touched by a community of neighbors who have long lived the tradition of potluck Christmas parties. The sharing of food and organized gift giving have strengthened their bonds of fraternity.

Despite the differences, the message of the man larger than life, whose influence has spanned more than 2000 years, is about sacrificial love and sharing and giving. This value never goes old-fashion or outmoded. It is the continuous call of the day, it is what the world hungers from.

And so, Merry Christmas! Let it be.

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Surviving the Season of Festive Longing

By Bisai Ya

It’s festive time once again, the season to be jolly and merry. However, for some this is also the season when a strong sense of longingness envelops the person. Many of us experience that season where we are weary with our feelings of insecurity, or maybe feel unloved and sometimes enveloped by certain degree of dryness in our lives, either in our relationships or career or passion.

This feeling of longingness specially rings true for those, like me, who are physically away from their immediate families or loved ones. The distance that separates me from my dear one does not help make the situation easier to handle.

I feel the void and empty spaces within me that hinder me from feeling happy and gay at many times. My usual bubbly personality seemed to be coiling backwards wanting to just hide its head from the crowd. I hate this feeling. It is stealing my future in welcoming what probably might be in store for me in 2013.

This period I also call “My personal Advent”. This is a period where I contemplate to readying myself for the coming of the Almighty one into my life in this season. The waiting associated with my personal advent is both challenging, where a good mix of fretfulness and fun often manifests.

Very few of you might know that this year has been a very challenging year for me, both in my professional and personal life. This could be reason enough for me to feel edgy at times. Being a creative person, I too had my share of advent wishes and I long to get it fulfilled.

- I’m longing to be reunited with my youngest son whom I have been an absent mom for 7 years
- I’m longing to establish a sense of betterment both as a mother and mentor to my two sons
- I’m longing to have a better relationship with my family back home and be able to take care of my aging and sickly mom
- I’m longing for a renewal of relationship with friends whom I have not been reunited for a long time
- I’m longing to create my art so simple that anyone who looks at them will embrace it without wanting for explanation
- I’m longing for renewal of self so I may become a better individual and face my future with positive enthusiasm

I’m no different from some friends I keep. We all had the same share of happiness and certain degree of problems. So I see my deep longings as being borne out of incompleteness of certain aspects in my life.

The only way I see to heal myself from all this brokenness and angst is to let go of my fears like my fear of loving and being loved, my being expectant of people and to learn the value of emptiness.

Because I was brought up by my parents to be helpful, kind and selfless to others, I had expected the same of others to do to me, which is impossible, thus resulting to my often disappointing high expectations of them.

I realized I needed to empty myself of these expectations so that I can start to heal myself from easy disappointments, for when I begin to empty myself, only then I can expect to refill my life with new things, new ideas, new feelings, and perhaps new people to love and shower affection to make me whole once again.

As this year draws closer to its end, I am hoping to be able to draw inspiration from families, well-intentioned friends, new acquaintances and build more positive energies to meet life ahead with much vigor and dynamism. I see that renewal in all things and in all forms will help me survive the tough challenges of life.

With my renewed passion in creative writing, visual art and mentorship, I will look ahead to 2013 with fuller belief that the Almighty has something fruitful in store for me other than these mighty blessings I already had.

Immigrants Long for Security They Deserve

By Marivir Montebon

New York -- The fabulous neon Christmas lights on Fifth Avenue in bustling Manhattan don't truly fascinate Jenny. In fact, each colorful blinking makes her heart ache and long for her daughter whom she hasn't seen for four Christmases now.  I wish my daughter saw all these beautiful lights, she wished to herself. It is uncertain as to when she will see her child again, who was three years old when she left home in Davao in the Philippines.

Jenny, petite at 31, is awaiting the approval of her US permanent residency status.  It could take at least five years and it could be denied. In the meantime, she has missed raising her child as she works as babysitter for a rich family in the city of New York.

"I always work during Christmas and New Year, because if I didn't I would die of homesickness. And I feel very lonely when I see families together and I am away from my child," she said seriously, teary-eyed.

Jenny is among the four million immigrant workers in the US who copes with Christmas by working non-stop just so to survive the holidays. In the Philippines, while every one seems festive despite economic difficulties, immigrants here are battling against the cold and homesickness.

There is nothing much that Jenny could do about her status but to wait until she gets her green card. That story isn't so bad for Jenny. It could be worse for tens of thousands of undocumented immigrants in the US, who in one way or another, have unfortunately become victims to illegal recruitment and unfair labor practices which have rendered them defenseless for the lack of legal status.

Each immigrant has a story to tell.

However in the high echelons of the US Senate, hopes for immigrants have remained pending, as the DREAM Act has been shelved and continues to gather dust.  Among other things, it would have given legal rights to children of immigrants born in the US whose parents have not acquired the legal residency status.

Migrant organizations in the US have called for a blanket legalization of all immigrants, citing that America has nothing to lose when it gives immigrants the path to citizenship.

"In fact, it would mean economic stability for the US due to its billion earnings from immigrant documentation fees and subsequent taxation," said Arnedo Valera, an immigration lawyer and co-executive director of the Washington, DC-based Migrant Heritage Commission (MHC).

MHC is also lobbying before the Philippine Senate a legislative piece that would ensure the rights and welfare of immigrant Filipinos and their families. Valera has approached Senators Teofisto Guingona and Gregorio Honasan to sponsor the Magna Carta for the Rights of Migrant Workers which will protect their rights and welfare while working abroad.

The Philippines, one of the highest producing countries of immigrants, has ratified the United Nations International Convention on the Protection of the Rights of the Migrants and Members of their Families in 1990.

“The Philippine government is thus duty-bound to create a national law that will enforce the international treaty in the community of nations,” Valera explained.  The Philippines has expatriated more than 11 million Filipinos overseas, the majority of whom are in the US, Saudi Arabia, Canada, United Arab Emirates, and Australia.

Among the key provisions of the proposed bill, Valera said, would be the right of the migrant worker to verify the legitimacy of employment, the abolition of placement fees, the clear identification of the salaries and benefits for the migrant worker and her/his family, and the setting up of free legal assistance centers for migrants in the host countries.

Valera, along with MHC co-executive directors Jesse Gatchalian and Grace Valera Jaramillo, attended the UN International Conference on the Rights of Migrants and their Families on December 17, 2010 at the UN Headquarters in New York.

During the conference, he told about 60 attendees from various state governments and international non-government organizations, of the need to bridge the wide disconnect of the paradigm of the international convention and the realities hounding migrant workers.

“While it is true that migrant workers are the life blood of sustainable development because of their regular dollar remittances, they are facing challenges of economic stability, health, and well-being in the countries where they are working. This has to be addressed by the sending and host countries if we are to be realistic in our definition of what sustainable development is,” Valera said in a privilege speech.

He urged sending countries to legislate their own national charters for the rights of migrant workers and the host countries to likewise ensure that the rights and welfare of these workers are being respected.

MHC is a not-for-profit organization that has provided legal assistance to immigrants in the US for the past six years. It also engages in health, education, publication and communication, and policy advocacy campaigns for the rights and welfare of immigrants.

UN Secretary-general Ban Ki-moon called States that have yet to ratify the International Convention on the Protection of the Rights of All Migrant Workers and Their Families.

To date, no Western host country has ratified the Convention, even though majority of migrants live in Europe and North America (US and Canada).  Other important receiving countries, like Australia, India, and the Arab states in the Middle East have not ratified the Convention as well.

The UN notes that there are about 214 million migrant workers all over the world, as a result of globalization and extreme poverty in their home countries.

“Migrants contribute to economic growth and human development they enrich societies through cultural diversity, knowledge and technology exchange and they improve demographic balance in ageing populations. While for many, migration is a positive and empowering experience, many others endure human rights violations, xenophobia, and exploitation,” said Mr. Ban.

Mr. Ban stressed the plight of the tens of millions of migrants who are in “an irregular situation” and thus more likely to be denied basic labor protections, due process guarantees, personal security, and healthcare.

“They are vulnerable to suffering prolonged detention or ill-treatment, and in some cases enslavement, rape or even murder,” he said. “Clearly much more needs to be done to safeguard the rights of migrants,” the UN Secretary-general said.

The UN has very well articulated the needs of the ordinary immigrant.  But the day remains uncertain as to when her/his rights and welfare are formidably secured. As for Jenny, and the millions like her, it will be forever a mix of melancholy and inspiration as she works for the money to sustain the life and well-being of her child who is growing so far away from her. # (A Reprint from Universal Class)

FAITH CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS

By Marivir R. Montebon

Genara Rubi (1919-2011) is a bastion of faith. She passed on last year at age 92, after a long haul of nine silent years due to a massive stroke that rendered half of her body dead and silenced her speech.

But she lived that long. My mother, her eldest child Jocelyn, took care of Lola Nara since she became bedridden. Together, they hurdled the most basic of life's challenges...stubbornly clinging on to it despite a lingering disability.

In the rare times that I visited Lola in Stockton, massaging her, singing to her, feeding her, wheeling her to the park...I asked myself if ever she really would have wanted to just cross to the other line. For somebody who was feisty, noisy, a big time laugher (my word), hardworking, she may not want to live in silence and immobility for too long.

But I can only surmise that, because what is clear is her willingness and faith to live day by day, by the care of my mom and youngest brother, which lasted for nine difficult years. I would also take credit the amazing health technology and medical care accorded to her, without these my grandmother could have easily slipped away.

Genara Rubi's life has always been that of hard work and faith. These made her as solid as a rock.

My aunt Linda, her second child, tells the story of how Lola and my dear grandpa Domiciano Rubi Sr. went through the most difficult time of their lives, the outbreak of World War II. I didn't remember having known this at all...that Lola gave birth to Tita Linda when the Japanese invaded the island of Siquijor.

What could have been worse than being caught in an invasive war with your lives on the line and giving birth to a new life at the same time.

Faith must have pulled my grandparents through, larger than their fear and pain and exhaustion. My aunt was born during the war, and as my cousin Aldous Arbon (my aunt's ghost writer) has put it..."against the pangs of war, there was a birth pang; the first brought death, the second brought life."

Circumstances like these mold characters of people to be strong and unwavering. How lucky they were to have withered that through their faith, because there was nothing else could disturb them.

At one time, I saw Lola Nara easily relaxed my mother while we were aboard a rickety small boat in the dead of the stormy night on the way to Cebu. My mom woke up my grandma and frightfully said, Ma, it is so stormy and getting too rough. Lola just told her, just lay down there and pray. Mom obliged as the defunct Dona Magna was tossed by giant waves throughout the night. As a child, I innocently thought the big waves were all right, it made me sleep faster.

I saw my grandmother's faith when she went through the painful process of letting go of my grandfather to lung cancer. She took care of him in those difficult moments, stretching money for his medicines and keeping him clean and comfortable in bed.

Grandma did not think so much there was going to be a miracle of life for my grandfather. At the time, she thought it was best to gracefully humble down in pain, and say God's will be done.

Genara Rubi's life is my anchor. She was a happy farmer and fantastic dress maker, and she glorified such humble life with faith.

Up to this moment, I can remember her laughter, her singing, her scoldings. I see her work efficiently as a housekeeper and dressmaker. Oh how she effectively delegated house chores to my aunts and uncles, making them responsible people in their later years.

Genara Rubi, you rock.

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Movie Review: Lincoln is Perfect

By Marivir R. Montebon

Things which are equal to the same thing are also equal to one another - Euclid

Euclid must have profoundly influenced Pres. Abraham Lincoln, and director Steven Spielberg did an outstanding piece of worksmanship in creating the film Lincoln.

Pres. Lincoln was flawlessly portrayed by actor Daniel Day-Lewis as a man of vision and extraordinary resolve.  Lincoln is sure to become a timeless monumental film. Hence today, Lincoln is a must see.  It imparts the message of true, brave, and visionary leadership which Lincoln was.

The film also showed the 16th president's human side, he being an amazing story teller, a doting father, a torn husband, and a believer of the meaning of dreams.

Lincoln opens with the dream of First Lady Mary Todd, who saw her husband on a ship mooring towards an unknown harbor. She later interpreted her dream as the successful passage of the 13th amendment to the Constitution which sought to abolish slavery in the US.

After that, the scene unfolds the last tumultuous months of President Lincoln which sent the audience to a roller coaster of emotions, enthralled, amused, disturbed, sympathetic.

From the film, we learn that Pres. Lincoln was profoundly influenced by the great mathematician Euclid whom he quoted in fascination in an anecdote he told the young radio transmitters to explain his passion for abolishing slavery (the 13th Amendment). "Things which are equal to the same thing are also equal to one another," Lincoln said in reference to Euclid.

The film is highlighted by the voting of this Amendment.  To describe it as thrilling would be lame. It was breath taking. The final day of voting was to be the greatest moment of the lives of Democrats and Republicans, because the individual decision cuts through the very core of their essence as persons and leaders.  It took each one of them incredible courage and guts to say nay or yey to the amendment, and each response took everyone's breath away.

The road to the 13th Amendment was paved by the unbending resolve on the part of Pres. Lincoln and by the genius of his State Secretary William Henry Seward's choreography to lobby for the votes of the Democrats. The latter provided jest in the film as it progressed, and also a real insight of how indispensable underground maneuvers (quid pro quo) via the White House are.

Lincoln is perfectly crafted, in terms of cinematography, music, and costumes. Its characters get their voices from an impeccable script, making it truly reflected of the challenging times of the Civil War in the 1860s.

Lincoln is one of the perfect films ever created. Its relevance, inspiration, and artistry would make one love to watch it over and over again.