Saturday, March 30, 2013

Merry Charis-mas

By Janet Villa

A few months ago, my three-year-old Anna plopped by our bedside table and gazed longingly at the space-agey JBL speakers that my husband had strictly prohibited her from touching. She asked, “Mommy, do you love Anna coz I not touch this?”

I rushed to gather her in my arms, panicked that she might feel she has to earn my love. “Anna, I love you even if you touch that,” I said.

So she did. Tricksy, tricksy, little manipulator.

When the laughter of that moment had long died, I thought about how she, like many of us, had equated love with merit, about how we need to perform for others. Last week while we were driving to my in-laws’, Anna asked Ate May, her beloved nanny, why Mae called her Bunchy, an endearment that is theirs alone. Mae replied, “Because I love you.” “Why do you love me, Ate Mae?” Anna asked. Anna’s question, like ours, is, What in me deserves your love?

Our world operates on reward and punishment, on keeping score, on fighting to be number one, on grade point averages. To this system of merit and demerit, Christmas—and the love it celebrates—presents a contradiction. The love that inspires the Divine to become human and for the Word to become flesh is rooted in and suffused with grace (charis in Greek), the undeserved favor. The love that the Creator God offers through Jesus is freely given to all, regardless. When we receive that gift—of grace, of goodness, of forgiveness—we cannot add to or detract from that love by our thought, action or inaction.

It is a radical concept. And overwhelming. It clashes with our legalistic nature. How can love be given to the unlovely? Like Anna, we feel we need to earn love, to work for it, to deserve it, to gain approval.

I hope to tell Anna: Grace is why Christmas rocks, why Christmas is merry. Its message to us is that Christ lived and loved for us. He gave it all to all. Life—and our relationship with our Father—is not about a list of dos and don’ts. That while we are inspired to be the best versions of us, we are at this moment already loved, completely; that while we pursue excellence, God loves us unequivocally. Achieving a perfect score on an exam, rising through the ranks, or going to church won’t make Him love us more. Losing the championship, lying in a job interview, or forgetting to pray won’t make Him love us less; He will deeply grieved by sin, yes, and our fellowship with Him broken, but His love and relationship with us is constant. Philip Yancey said in What’s So Amazing About Grace, “At the heart of the gospel is a God who deliberately surrenders to the wild, irresistible power of love.”

Tonight, as I was tucking Anna in bed, I asked her, “Anna, do you know what Christmas is?”

“Yes,” she said as she looked up from behind her blanket. “Christmas is love.”

|*|*|*|*|


ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Janet Villa practiced Law for nine years before she received a fellowship to the Philippine National Writers' Workshop and to the UP National Workshop. Her first published sotry "Undercurrents" won the NVM Grand Prize in 2003, and her sond "Closopen" won the NVM Grand Prize Special Prize in 2005. She is now finishing her MA in Creative Writing. Her biggest adventure is being best for husband Jojo and daughter Anna, while pursuing her passions in writing and teaching. Janet maintains CreW, the creating writing special interest group of Mensa Philippines after being the Mensa Philippines president in 1998.


http://usingaborrowedlanguage.wordpress.com





OSM! is One

[caption id="attachment_1673" align="aligncenter" width="242"]On love day, buy a faithful shirt for her and you, for the price of ONE! On love day, buy a faithful shirt for her and you, for the price of ONE![/caption]

By Marivir R. Montebon
New York City

A year happens so swiftly. We travel through time so fast. One year ago, on March 18, 2012, we began to publish OSM!, the online magazine for awesome global citizens. We have reached a wonderful record of 32,000 readers for the span of 35 weeks of offering inspiring articles of people and events meant to change the world a little better.

I couldn't be so grateful for this.

We have reconstructed our website for you, dear readers. Our writers have likewise ever been inspired to write and share their stories for a more positively inspiring brand of journalism.

We will have new sections too.

All things are flowing and glowing. We continue to do what we have to do, in order to be part of the local-global call to make the world a better place for everyone.

On April 8, 2013, OSM! will share its own experience of creating an online magazine and how it became a well-read and patronized media upon the invitation of the National Writers Union - New York Chapter. It is a great opportunity to share one's experiences in the digital world.

If sensibly and efficiently used, the cyberspace means a new realm of power and enlightenment for those who choose to, particularly media practitioners. The internet technology, as a communication tool is a powerful resource for us to self-publish, self-express, and share good thoughts and ideas for development. It is a matter of maximizing the technology which is just in our fingertips. It is simply amazing.

Looking forward to sharing the OSM! experience to writers and bloggers.

[caption id="attachment_1675" align="aligncenter" width="300"]Xocai Dark Chocolate: it is a healthy love. Xocai Dark Chocolate: It is a healthy love.[/caption]

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Lent: The Many Shades of Purple

Sylvia Hubilla
Round Rock, Texas

“For dust thou art, and unto dust thou shalt return.” Lent begins with this stark reminder of one's humble beginning, and end, in the ritual of what we call Miercoles de Ceniza, or Ash Wednesday. In the Philippines, where 80 percent of the population are Catholics, almost every person you meet on the street, or anywhere else on this day, have crosses of black ash on their foreheads. After work and school hours, churches are packed with people lining up to “receive the ashes,” as we say it.
This day ushers in the Season of Lent, replete with ritual and color. Purple is the liturgical color of Lent. Churches take on the color purple, on the altars, and the priests' vestments. On this day too, everyone abstains from eating meat, and adults fast, meaning they can only have one full meal, and have only liquids throughout the day. And this is done every Friday thereafter for the whole period of Lent, culminating on Holy Thursday and Good Friday. Penance and sacrifice is the order of the day – for 40 days!
But this is easier said than done. I must confess, I try really hard to hold fast to the rules, but still fall short a lot of times. It was easy growing up under my mother's strict supervision, and growing up in a Catholic school. But as soon as adulthood and independence came around, so did the real struggle to “be good.”
As the color purple can have many different shades, and still remain purple, I have seen Catholics become creative and inventive in the interpretation of and adherence to the rules, and still remain practicing Catholics. The practice has morphed (heaven help us!) from the comic to the bizarre. Some try to go around fasting, and still believe they are fasting. A friend told me, “Fasting is one full meal, right? I define one full meal as the time I sit down at the dining table until the time I get up after I finish eating. So, as long as I remain seated at the table, I am still having just one full meal.”

 

[caption id="attachment_2014" align="alignleft" width="300"]Binignit Binignit[/caption]

To some people in Cebu, for instance, fasting means a huge pot of “binignit,” a delicious popular snack of sweet potatoes, cooking bananas, sago, ripe jackfruit, purple yams all cut into cubes and boiled in coconut cream sweetened with muscovado sugar, kept on the stove, hot and ready for everyone in the household all day, on all Fridays of Lent, and most especially on Good Friday. Everyone just helped themselves with this throughout the day, and is considered to be fasting, the reason being, that it is not a full meal, only a snack.
The best example, (or should I say, the worst. depending on which side of the fence you are on) is having your town fiesta fall on Good Friday itself, so you are absolutely exempted from fasting and abstinence, and sacrifice! This is the case for Bantayan Island, located on the northernmost tip of Cebu. It is not only known as a paradise island of white sand beaches and crystal waters, but also as a popular destination for people looking for a way to get around the fasting and abstinence rule for Maundy Thursday, and Good Friday, without committing a sin.

 

[caption id="attachment_2013" align="alignright" width="272"]Bantayan Island Bantayan Island[/caption]

Bantayan Island celebrates The Crucifixion of Christ as their town fiesta. The story goes, that Bantayan Island, being a fishing community, could not follow the abstinence from meat on Good Friday because, to honor the Crucified Christ, the fisher folk would not go out to sea to fish on Good Friday. There would be no fish for the community. This did not go unnoticed. Bantayan Island received a Papal Dispensation no less, from Pope Leo XII in 1843. This document is still on display in the museum in the town's Church of Saints Peter and Paul.
The Dispensation allowed pork to be eaten on Good Friday, the Town Fiesta. Perfect! What is a Fiesta without “lechon?” (Roasted pig) Knowing this, tourists from other regions of the Philippines, wanting to take advantage of the week-long holiday, would flock to Bantayan Island. Of course, most still tried to fulfill some of the religious rituals, like the Via Crucis (Way of the Cross), and meditate on the Passion and Crucifixion of Christ, and join the procession of the image of the Crucified Christ. But I suspect the spirit of sacrifice and self-denial is lost in the Fiesta atmosphere, and in the partaking of the irresistable, incredibly delicious lechon. And we haven't even factored in the fun and joyful experience of the frolic in the white sand beaches.
Despite all these ingenious maneuvers, and no matter where we are in the whole spectrum of the many shades of purple, I still believe the true spirit of the Season of Lent, and the essence of the spiritual preparation of oneself for Easter is never diminished or entirely lost. Because finding myself here in the USA today, I miss and long for the way we celebrate the Season back home. I miss the procession of the images of the tableau of the Passion and Death of Jesus, the dawn procession we call, “Sugat” or “Salubong” depicting the women searching for Jesus' body. I miss the “Visita Iglesia” on Maundy Thursday, where families visit at least 7 churches, praying for their departed members in each stop, to obtain plenary indulgence for their souls.
But I have these memories, and now I can be creative and inventive about how I work around what is available to me in this different environment and circumstance.
At this moment, I am looking forward to getting together with my six grandchildren, for our family Easter Egg Hunt on Easter Sunday. HAPPY EASTER, everyone!

Passing Note

rBy Marc Abbott

purple tulips 8Adam Corbin stared at the note in his hand for a minute, then looked at the locker in front of him. The second his eyes fell on the number 111 at the top of the locker door, fear swept over him. All the nerve he had mustered up prior to getting to the locker had left him. He was too afraid now to carry out his mission.

The locker before him belonged to one Callie Pace, the cutest blond Adam had ever seen in his life. She was the perfect girl: long hair, mesmerizing blue eyes, a warm smile and a laugh that put butterflies in his stomach. She traveled around school with one other girl, Tori Lauer. Tori was pretty, but she wasn’t Callie.

The very first time Adam saw Callie was in science class. She had come in late, stood in the front of the classroom, trying to find herself a seat. Their eyes met and she smiled at him. Well, she smiled and happened to be looking in his direction, was really what she did. But it didn’t matter because she was a vision that stole his very breath. What he felt at that moment was real.

Callie took a seat in front and to the right of him, said hello, and from that moment on, Adam was love struck. He made sure he was in class before her so he could watch her walk in. He carried an extra pen just in case she needed to borrow one, and in the winter, when the class was chilly, he brought his jacket with him to put around her so she could keep warm. All of these little acts of affection were not seen as such by Callie. She just thought he was being nice. Beyond the science class, they didn’t have much contact.

Tori, however, noticed Adam’s longing glances at her friend. Each time she went to meet her after class she would see Adam sheepishly trailing behind her. In the lunchroom, she watched Adam stare at her on the lunch line. He never said anything to her but if she looked at him, he would smile and wave. Tori thought his actions cute. They were a great deal more heartwarming to watch than the crass behavior of some of the other boys that tried to get Callie’s attention.

Tori wanted to find out more about Adam. She talked to other girls about him to get their perceptions about him. Then she watched him in the halls to see how he acted around the small group of friends he had. After weeks of following him around, Tori was convinced he wasn’t strange or weird, but very shy. Much like Callie was about approaching guys that caught her eye.

But in Callie’s defense, her beauty came with several issues.

Callie complained that the nice guys always avoided her. Either because they thought she was taken or because the creeps were always around. Those were the ones that chased after her, said crude things to her and scared away some of the more interesting guys.

Tori listened to Callie complain all the time about those issues and so she thought maybe she would interested in Adam. If she get Adam to speak to her. Playing the role of dutiful friend and confidante, Tori took all the information she had on Callie, found Adam and sat down with him. She listened to him talk about how much he liked Callie, but wasn’t confident that a girl that pretty would never give him a chance.

“How do you know she wouldn’t?” Tori asked.

“Look at her. She has guys chasing after her all the time. Good looking guys. Look at me. I’m short, I’m not cute. Girls aren’t exactly lining up to go out with me,” he said.

“You think because you’re not popular or like one of those cretins chasing her she wouldn’t give you the time of day?” Tori said. “Have you tried?”

“No way,” Adam said quickly.

“Try, and see what happens. Ask her and see what she says,” Tori said.

“Do you know something I don’t?”

“I know if you don’t try you will never know.”

“How do I ask her?”

“I don’t know. Come up with something. Be creative.”

With that in mind, Adam wrote Callie a note. It wasn’t filled with love lorn words or a poem. He simply wrote: Hi Callie. I hope you’re having a good day. I want you to know that I think your very pretty and I want to take you out sometime. If you’re interested in knowing who I am, meet me in front of the gym at 3.

Adam folded the note intending to put it in her locker, but once he got there he was afraid to do it. He read the note again and thought it was dumb. So he took it with him to class and pondered a different approach.

When Callie entered the classroom, Adam decided to just hand it to her instead. He altered the last line, then folded it back up. Callie sat down in her seat, said hi to him and started to take out her notebook. Adam started to call to her but lost his nerve again.

As class dragged on, Adam became angry with himself that he was wasting time. He wrestled with his fear. Argued with it in his mind, then psyched himself up to taking the biggest chance of his teenage life. When the teacher, Mr. Herkermer, turned his back to write something on the board, Adam leaned over toward her.

“Callie!” he whispered. She turned and looked at him. “Here.” Adam extended his hand with the note.

Callie looked at the note curiously. For a moment Adam didn’t think she was going to take it. But she turned and looked to see if Mr. Herkermer was looking, then turned back and reached for it as their fingers touched, Adam felt his heart quicken. She turned back around quickly then carefully opened the note and started to read it.

As Adam watched her, his heart started to pound a mile a minute. A lump grew in his throat and his palms grew sweaty. He felt himself become frightened all over again.

Callie closed the note and looked to the front of the room as Mr. Herkermer, turned around and continued talking. She waited until his back was to the class again, then she turned and looked at Adam. Her face was red from blushing and she smiled at him. But she didn’t say a word. Instead, she turned back around, opened the note and wrote something down. She folded it and started to pass it back to him when Mr. Herkermer turned around and looked at her.

“Miss Pace! Mind if I take a look at that?” Mr. Herkermer said. Callie and Adam both turned red. Callie didn’t move as Mr. Herkermer walked to her and took the note. He looked in the direction she had turned looked at Adam.

“So let’s see what’s so important,” he said. “Oh my God,” Callie whispered as she turned away and put her face in her hands.

Mr. Herkermer opened the note and read it to himself. Then his eyes fell on Adam. “Well it seems that Miss Pace likes going to the movies and movie nachos and she thinks you’re cute Mr. Corbin.” He handed the note to Adam amid snickers around the class. “And I think you meant to say you’re, not your. Are we done? Good. Now then. . . .”

Adam sulked in his seat as he folded the note and put it in his pocket while Mr. Herkermer headed back to the front of the class. Adam couldn’t look at Callie from all the embarrassment. She didn’t look at him either.

When the bell rang, the class erupted in talk of the embarrassment of Adam and Callie. Mr. Herkermer grabbed his things and followed the class out, leaving Callie and Adam alone. She finally looked at Adam, who was staring at the blackboard in a trance.

“You okay?” she asked. Adam looked at her. “I’m so sorry. You must hate me.”

“No.” She got up and gathered her things. “Want to walk me to my next class?”

Adam nodded and got up. He wasn’t sure how to feel. He looked at her and Callie started to laugh. She covered her mouth and started to blush as Adam’s look of embarrassment showed.

“I can’t believe that happened,” he said, then he looked at her and said, “Movie nachos, really?” “I love those things,” she said. Adam reach over and boldly took her hand. Callie didn’t protest.

© Copyright 2011 Marc L Abbot

Marc Abbott is a Brooklyn-based writer.  His latest novel The Dead Syndicate is an addition to his collection of horror stories in his upcoming kindle release of Anthorrorgy. He also writes short stories.  His first book, the Dead Syndicate Saga, he used classic angelic characters to craft the story of a rogue angel battling the powers of darkness.

(For more on Marc Abbott, go to www.hobbcatpublishing.com)

Art by Bisai Ya

 

MRS. PHILIPPINES AMERICA 2013: Beauty Inside and Out

By Marivir R. Montebon
New York City

When I suffered from excruciating back pain on the first week of the rehearsals, I said that was it for me, goodbye pageantry. This was due to wearing six inches stiletto for the first time in my life. The medical term for it was unusual exertion of effort, hence creating a back ache. I was scolded by my doctor for being stubborn and prescribed to me two of the most powerful painkillers and anti-inflammation medicines.

[caption id="attachment_1997" align="alignleft" width="300"]Rehearsal Giggles with the Candidates Rehearsal giggles with the candidates[/caption]

I sent a mass text message to the ladies: Lyne, Heide, Cherry, Grace, Belinda, and Annie, saying I'm quitting, I will miss you all. And guess what they all said? NO.

I exclaimed, Jesus Christ!

Cherry Marmes Smyth, now crowned Mrs. Philippines America 2013, said in our dialect in the text message: "Ayaw resign resign diha!" (This is lost in translation, but in essence it implies: don't even think about it).

Lyne and Grace were one in saying, we will back you up if you needed to wear platform shoes, not stiletto. "It's not worth it if you break your back for anything," said Grace in closing.

So our relentless shopping for six inch shoes began in the thick of winter.

[caption id="attachment_1996" align="aligncenter" width="720"]On the noble quest of searching for shoes! On the noble quest of searching for shoes![/caption]

Flashback: a little over a year ago, Nena Kaufman, the indomitable chairperson and founder of the Philippine Hearts and Hopes Society (PHHOSO) invited me to join the beauty contest. She never stopped asking everytime we met! Finally, like the proverbial slow, persistent drops of water that could break the hardest of rocks, I gave in to her prodding. In the back of my mind, I asked myself  this constantly: what am I getting into?

I became contestant no. 2 among the seven magnificent ladies - Belinda Aquino Cervas from Maryland, Lyne Simpson from New Jersey, Annie Copo, Grace Cornachiullo, and Heide Briffa, all from New York, and Cherry from Connecticut. I garnered the Best in Personal Interview Award.

The journey towards the contest proved to be challenging, exhilarating, and most of all, it created a wonderful friendship among all of us.

[caption id="attachment_1988" align="alignright" width="256"]BFFs. BFFs.[/caption]

We did not only become ambassadors of goodwill and humanitarian causes, we all became good friends. To me, the friendship shared by seven lovely women, in a single place and time, and in the oddest of circumstances (a beauty contest where most women normally become bitches and claw each other in competition) was the best gift in my life in New York.

I must say that our search for comfortable high heeled shoes and gowns, up to the last week of rehearsals, has helped strengthen our bond.

 

Belinda Cervas




[caption id="attachment_1990" align="alignleft" width="170"]Beautiful Bee Beautiful Bee[/caption]

We decided that the Mrs. Philippines Green Earth Ambassador is also the friendliest among us all. Our Miss Congeniality is warm, crazy and upbeat. Not a hint of a broken heart or bitterness, after surviving a failed marriage and receiving the reward of a divorce order just weeks before we pulled off stage for the contest.

Belinda served booze for us (which Grace brought in) during our lengthy make-up session at the backstage. In between quick rehearsals, magical hair styling and make up, fast meals, and self-practice for the dreaded talent portion, we sipped alcohol to embolden us and conquer our fear.

In reckoning, Bee said she earned her self-respect, after going through her harrowing divorce, during the entire process of the pageant. "After an abusive relationship, I earned respect for myself and found my self-worth through the pageant. New friends, networking and new dresses were the bonus part of it."

Bee will focus her good will work with military service people.

"I'd like to promote and help the military services and their family here in USA and our home country Philippines. For me, the sacrifices of the men and women of armed forces are most of the time under seen and not recognized. I'd like to help out the forces by means of giving to their family support and help as much as they needed. Being able to send care kit packets to the military services that are deployed overseas, would be one of these efforts I have in mind."

Currently working as administrative secretary in a school in Maryland, Bee was raised a city girl in Quezon City, but nonetheless loved the country life in her mother's hometown in Pangasinan.

Lyne Simpson


Lyne, the dusky, voluptuous beauty from Biliran drives from Princeton, New Jersey to the heart of the city for rehearsals. Six beautiful weeks into perfecting our dance and catwalk, Lyne was the ever supportive lady to all of us.

[caption id="attachment_1994" align="alignright" width="300"]Voluptuous Lyne Voluptuous Lyne[/caption]

Bee aptly calls her 'the boss' because she naturally emerges as the initiator leader, managing discussions of meetings and things to do as a group. I think she is instinctively maternal.  She would guide us what to do during rehearsals, like an impromptu director.

A mother to twin daughters Mary and Felisa, Lyne proudly flaunted her belly while we were shopping for gowns. My twins stretched my belly, she said laughing. One could care less about flabs looking at Lyne and her twin daughters, as we were seeing triplets of lovely women.

Miss Talent (Taekwondo and Ballroom Dancing rolled into one) and Second Runner Up thinks she is not a pageant material (she always smiles big at that!) but she earned beautiful friends from the pageant, which to her was the greatest gain from joining the contest.

Pressure motivated Lyne to join the contest. "I wanted to stop my friends from bugging me to join. They have been asking me to join for a long time."

The larger reason was, of course, to be able to reach out to people some more. "I wanted to go back to my hometown to continue helping my old elementary school. In the past, I built a playground for the school children and a butterfly garden. I donated children’s encyclopedia and books and helped renovate a two-classroom building. I feel like I should do more."

She has recently raised money to help in the surgery of children with cleft lips and palates.

Lyne, a certified substitute teacher, is likewise the consummate wife and mother. And add to her cap of this beauty titlist some feathers now, a silver and bronze out of 15 competitors in a Taekwondo Tournament a week after our beauty contest.

MAIN FEATURE
MRS. PHILIPPINES AMERICA 2013: Beauty Inside and Out
By Marivir R. Montebon
New York City

When I suffered from excruciating back pain on the first week of the rehearsals, I said that was it for me, goodbye pageantry. This was due to wearing six inches stiletto for the first time in my life. The medical term for it was, unusual exertion of effort, hence creating a back ache. I was scolded by my doctor for being stubborn and prescribed to me two of the most powerful painkillers and anti-inflammation medicines.

I sent a mass text message to the ladies: Lyne, Heide, Cherry, Grace, Belinda, and Annie, saying I'm quitting, I will miss you all. And guess what they all said? NO.

I exclaimed, Jesus Christ!

Cherry Marmes Smyth, now crowned Mrs. Philippines America 2013, said in our dialect in the text message: "Ayaw resign resign diha!" (This is lost in translation, but it implies, don't even think about it).

Lyne and Grace were one in saying, we will back you up if you needed to wear platform shoes, not stiletto. "It's not worth if you break your back for anything," said Grace in closing.

So our relentless shopping for six inch shoes began in the thick of winter.

Flashback: a little over a year ago, Nena Kaufman, the indomitable chairperson and founder of the Philippine Hearts and Hopes Society (PHHOSO) invited me to join the beauty contest. She never stopped asking everytime we met! Finally, like the proverbial slow, persistent drops of water that could break the hardest of rocks, I gave in to her prodding. At the back of my mind, I asked myself...what am I getting into?

I became contestant no. 2 among the seven magnificent ladies - Belinda Aquino Cervas from Maryland, Lyne Simpson from New Jersey, Annie Copo, Grace Cornachiullo, and Heide Briffa all from New York, and Cherry from Connecticut. I garnered the Best in Personal Interview Award.

The journey towards the contest proved to be challenging, exhilarating, and most of all, it created a wonderful friendship among all of us.

We did not only become ambassadors of goodwill and humanitarian causes, we all became good friends. To me, the friendship shared by seven lovely women, in a single place and time, and in the oddest of circumstances (a beauty contest where most women normally become bitches and claw each other in competition) was the best gift in my life in New York.

I must say that our search for comfortable high heeled shoes and gowns, up to the last week of rehearsals, have helped strengthen our bond.

Belinda Cervas

We decided that the Mrs. Philippines Green Earth Ambassador is also the friendliest among us all. Our Miss Congeniality is warm, crazy and upbeat. Not a hint of a broken heart or bitterness, after surviving a failed marriage and receiving the reward of a divorce order just weeks before we pulled off stage for the contest.

Belinda brought booze for us during our lengthy make-up session at the backstage. In between quick rehearsals, magical hair styling and make up, fast meals, and self-practice for the dreaded talent portion, we sipped alcohol to embolden us and beat the fright.

In reckoning, Bee said she earned her self-respect, after going through her harrowing divorce, during the entire process of the pageant. "After an abusive relationship, I earned respect for myself and found my self-worth through the pageant. New friends, networking and new dresses were the bonus part of it."

Bee will focus her good will work with military service people.

"I'd like to promote and help the military services and their family here in USA and our home country Philippines. For me, the sacrifices of the men and women of armed forces are most of the time under seen and not recognized. I'd like to help out the forces by means of giving to their family support and help as much as they needed. Being able to send care kit packets to the military services that are deployed overseas, would be one of these efforts I have in mind."

Currently working as administrative secretary in a school in Maryland, Bee was raised a city girl in Quezon City, but nonetheless loved the country life in her mother's hometown in Pangasinan.

Lyne Simpson

Lyne, the dusky, voluptuous beauty from Biliran drives from Princeton, New Jersey to the heart of the city for rehearsals. Six beautiful weeks into perfecting our dance and catwalk, Lyne was the ever supportive lady to all of us.

Bee aptly calls her 'the boss' because she naturally emerges as the initiator leader, managing discussions of meetings and things to do as a group. I think she is instinctively maternal.

A mother to twin daughters Mary and Felisa, Lyne proudly flaunted her belly while we were shopping for gowns. My twins stretched by belly, she said laughing. One could care less about flabs looking at Lyne and her twin daughters, as we were seeing triplets of lovely women.

Miss Talent (Taekwondo and Ballroom Dancing rolled into one) and Second Runner Up thinks she is not pageant material (she always smiles big at that!) but she earned beautiful friends from the pageant, which to her was the greatest gain from joining the contest.

Pressure motivated Lyne to join the contest. "I wanted to stop my friends from bugging me to join. They have been asking me to join for a long time."

The larger reason was, of course, to be able to reach out to people some more. "I wanted to go back to my hometown to continue helping my old elementary school. In the past, I built a playground for the school children and a butterfly garden. I donated children’s encyclopedia and books and helped renovate a two-classroom building. I feel like I should do more."

She has recently raised money to help in the surgery of children with cleft lips and palates.

Lyne, a certified substitute teacher, is likewise the consummate wife and mother. And add to her cap of this beauty titlist some feathers now, a silver and bronze out of 15 competitors in a Taekwondo Tournament a week after our beauty contest.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

A JOURNALIST METAMORPHOSES Excerpts from BITING THE BIG APPLE

[caption id="attachment_1673" align="aligncenter" width="242"]On love day, buy a faithful shirt for her and you, for the price of ONE! On love day, buy a faithful shirt for her and you, for the price of ONE![/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1837" align="alignleft" width="300"]Cebu at dusk Cebu at dusk[/caption]

By Marivir R. Montebon
New York City

In the early years of my profession, I realized how powerful being a journalist could truly be. I can talk to anyone to gather information and opinion, in the name of public service! I took pride (and most often fret) in having been able to interview then city mayor Tomas Osmena, who had a very candid and domineering demeanor, one cannot ask ‘silly’ questions or lest be insulted publicly.

On certain occasions, I interviewed Presidents Corazon Aquino and Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

It seemed like the experiences were feathers in the hat.

429758_10151557303754402_346159266_nSomewhere along the way, however, I got jaded as a journalist. I had been reporting and writing nothing much but bad news. Politicians, most of the time, are nothing but a bunch of liars and baby kissers during elections. Heinous and petty crimes remain unresolved and whitewashed.

In a country like mine especially, media have promoted the culture of victimization and oppression as a standard criteria for news reporting.

It had been too overwhelming and counter productive because it molded the mindset of hopelessness, resignation, and mendicancy.

I remember how I had vigorously covered a story on land reform, which landed on my lap when I was pregnant with my daughter. The farmers were living in the hills of the southern part of the city and were to be evicted because the land was to be developed into an 18-hole golf course.

I began following the story and reporting about it regularly, from the time their houses were razed to the ground by bulldozers, and how they resisted them using their limbs.

The farmers went to court too. Together with lawyers, they argued that the land is under land reform and that it should not be superseded by a local ordinance for economic development.

The feisty leader, the late Benito Abellar, became a favorite of the media, because of his eloquence and sharpness. He would always say to the judges and the media, how could you make the land that is productive with food and life for us farmers, into a playground for the rich.

And so the land dispute continued for years. Until I gave birth, until Nikki went to school, and finally until she was in Grade 3 at age nine.

The farmers were eventually uprooted from the land which was converted into a sprawling golf course. They were given several million pesos in damage compensation, and a relocation site where they could live, but the land was not fit for farming. The farmers effectively became part of the urban poor population in Cebu. The fight was a long and brave nine years.

To a journalist like me, the farmers were defeated, and the morals of society as well. It was a long bloody story that I wrote (as two farmers were shot by hired assassins of the land owner) that ended in their obscurity anyway.

There are many other stories which I covered that meant a lot of heartaches for me. Not that I want to hide from the painful truth when I decided to strike a balance between good news and bad news.

I just believe that media practitioners must also be heralds for hope, and amplifiers of good deeds in the hope that many will be emboldened to do good. Hence in the subsequent years, I found respite in the sections of lifestyle and business, which somehow reflected some sense of action for progress in the community and national lives of people.

Despite the sad and horrific stories of wars and human misery, I know there are many people doing good things in a silent way. For me, journalism has to chronicle these good deeds too. It is about time that inspiring, positive journalism gains ground. After several years of being jaded, I take on this philosophy and put it into practice in my own OSM! magazine.

(Please get an eBook, please go to Amazon.com's Kindle store  http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00BHKHC9O/ref=mp_s_a_1?qid=1361241214&sr=8-6&pi=SL75 . Priced at $9.80, part of the proceeds go to the OSM! Educational Support Program)

[caption id="attachment_1675" align="aligncenter" width="300"]Xocai Dark Chocolate: it is a healthy love. Xocai Dark Chocolate: It is a healthy love.[/caption]

Just Having Fun

By Wendy Friedlander

So there’s this boy. And you like him. A lot.

“Oh that Johnny! He is hot! I really like him. We have so much fun together.”

You decide to let things progress and you and Johnny sleep together.

You and Johnny are having so much fun that before you know it, your fun times are getting serious in your mind and you start fantasizing about doing more with Johnny than hanky-panky.

Trouble is, you aren’t sure Johnny is thinking the same thing.

You ask your girlfriends what they think. You go through his behavior and look for hints that he is getting as serious about you as you are with him.

But then, as time goes on and the only thing Johnny seems to be around for is fun, you start to realize that maybe he’s still just having fun.

And you, you’re committed.

“That Johnny is a player.” You tell yourself. You cry to your friends about it. You wonder when you will ever meet a guy who wants to get serious.

“Why does this keep happening?” You wonder as you go through all the other Johnnies who have slipped away.

You try to take an objective look at yourself. You wonder why you keep falling in love while every guy just wants to have fun.

You are not alone. This happens to women all the time.

It’s a pattern. An unhealthy pattern that puts your most vital organ in harms way, your heart.

Energetically speaking, a woman’s reproductive center, her uterus and cervix, is connected to her pericardium, which is a sac that contains her heart.

And what is your heart? It’s your center of love.

naam-yoga-miami-img

When a woman has sex, she has an energetic exchange that leaves a mark on her heart.

Quite literally, a woman falls in love through sex.

Men, lacking the same reproductive organs, do not.

Men can have all the sex they want and it in no way creates the same feelings of love that affect woman.

So, as a woman, it is your responsibility to protect your heart.

Does that mean avoiding sex?

Not necessarily.

It means understanding the risks of having fun. Every time you have sex, you are opening your heart, an opening that does not happen automatically for your partner.

It means that if you want to be in a serious relationship know he loves you before you take that step.

When a man loves you. You know it. A man in love is dedicated. He comes after you.

So, instead of having fun and seeing where it goes, wait for him to come to you and then have some fun.

Sat Kriya

Sat Kriya is a fundamental Kundalini Yoga meditation that re-channels sexual energy around your body. In other words, it’s a meditation that makes it a little easier to postpone having fun when that loud voice in your head says “Come on! It’s been too long! Just one time! He’s not going to wait for you! Go for it!”

1. Kneel on the ground and then sit on your heels (this is known as rock pose)
2. Raise arms above head and interlace fingers
3. Extend the index fingers to point straight up and touch fingertips. Try your best to keep your palms touching, your elbows straight and inline with your ears.
4. While remaining in this position chant “Sat Nam” repeatedly for 3 minutes, working up to 11 min.
5. Rest on your back for at least a minute

Note: Pull in on your navel with “Sat” and then release with “Nam.” Pull in so tight you get a bonus stomach workout without doing any sit-ups!

Recommended music:
Track #4 on Bhakti Naam by Dr. Joseph Michael Levry (http://www.rootlight.com/music-bhakti-naam.htm)

About the author: Wendy is a single mom, cancer survivor and yogi. She traveled the world to find health and is grateful to share the tools and knowledge she gained on the way. Learn more athttp://wendyfriedlander.c

-------
About the Author:
imageWendy is a single mom, cancer survivor and yogi. She traveled the world to find health and is grateful to share the tools and knowledge she gained on the way. Learn more athttp://wendyfriedlander.com

You can reach Wendy at wendy@lovethroughwisdom.com; her website is notesofgratitude.me

Monday, March 18, 2013

ANNIVERSARY FEATURE Merly Barrete-Barlaan: Awesome New Yorker Comes Home with Big Dreams

By Marivir R. Montebon

At a fund raiser in the summer of 2011, Merly Barette Barlaan profusely thanked her donors for having shelled out some cash and checks for her school project in her hometown in Carmen, Bohol. "Your money goes a long way. You know a cup of Starbucks coffee, which is about three dollars, is 120 pesos and enough to buy one live chicken. Your four cups of coffee could buy four chickens which is a good start for a family to domesticate and raise their incomes," she said so sweetly.

"But that sent many into thinking, of course, and pushed the generosity button in them."

[caption id="attachment_1909" align="alignleft" width="258"]Mom and kids Hyo Won, Shin Won, Jasmine, and Lily Rose Mom and kids Hyo Won, Shin Won, Jasmine, and Lily Rose[/caption]

More than a year later, Merly decided to bring all her four children back to the bosom of her home, right smack in the rural mountains of Carmen where the famous Chocolate Hills, to establish her dream...a village of development and peace. Kicking off with a library and learning center, she, along with this writer, a co-dreamer, drafted a 10-year-development plan for community development.

Merly went home to pursue these goals. And voila, before our very eyes, we now see little tots graduating from preschool and sent off to the public schools already able to read and write.

We also see the kids' families increasing their incomes by making their lands productive with vegetables, and rice, and even flowering plants.

Merly's message is...it can be done. No traditional politics here, just sheer faith and effort to increase your community's economic life. The world is at her command, so it seems, with the full support of her husband Mar and her family. Even her work environment (she works in an NGO for the United Nations), has agreed that she will bring her office (made up of laptop and cell phone) to the rural world of Bohol.

OSM! brings up close Merly, in an interview, on how she realized her vision. Excerpts:

1.How is the library and preschool doing one year since their establishment? (how many students hv graduated to elem school?

[caption id="attachment_1913" align="alignright" width="300"]Tricycle ride...so nice to squeeze in sometimes Tricycle ride...so nice to squeeze in sometimes[/caption]

Merly: The library is doing well and is evolving to a wider role in the community. Since the completion of the bamboo cottage early this year, the LLC name (meaning Library and Learning Center) has changed to LTC (Library and Training Center). We are now capable of accommodating stay-in workshops with capacity of up to 30 participants. In fact, this coming March 18-April 8, 2013, CWaCE LTC will be hosting the 20 American participants for the GPA project to construct a local school cafeteria.

With regards to the Pre-school program, we will be wrapping up our third school year in couple of weeks. Our third batch pre-school graduates will bring our total to 30. All of our graduates have gone on to study in the public elementary schools with high marks and top honor students.

2. Has the community, your home place accepted and supported this development idea? How?

[caption id="attachment_1910" align="alignleft" width="300"]Next year, a farmers' trading coop will rise Next year, a farmers' trading coop will rise[/caption]

Merly: So far, most of the community members have positive attitudes and are cooperative with me in my endeavors. CWaCE is working in partnership with the PTA, the village school officials and the local government unit on a project to promote good health and optimum educability for the children. CWaCE was able to secure a grant worth $6,000 from the Generation Peace Academy and provide free accommodation for two weeks for their 20 American volunteers to construct a school cafeteria in Montesunting. It’s the first major collaboration mobilizing the parents and the community. I feel that the community is very supportive and proactive. They look forward with excitement to welcome our American donors. It will be the first time that our community can welcome such large number of foreigners.

3. As for the other anti.poverty projects, how far has it gone?

[caption id="attachment_1906" align="alignright" width="300"]Fabulous farmer! Fabulous farmer![/caption]

Merly: With the start of program implementation, we currently have 15 families gaining employment from the HOPE program-related projects. The HOPE program has a ten-year development plan. It’s a long term plan. We are just on our third year of implementation – the first three formative years. It’s a very slow process, it’s all about laying foundations, conditioning the environment which means clearing old dormant mindsets and implanting new productive ones. Introducing to the community new sets of values and leadership paradigms so that by the time we reach the completion stage of our development plan, the community and its citizens are empowered to be competitive not just locally but also in the global market.

4. What other aspects of the development program are to be implemented?

[caption id="attachment_1908" align="alignleft" width="300"]Land and bounty...fresh tomatoes! Land and bounty...fresh tomatoes![/caption]

Merly: Next year, we will start on product development and packaging, and hopefully by 2016, we can be ready and start on the marketing phase. Our product actually is not just one spot of the village, but the whole village itself and some neighboring villages as an agri/eco tourism destination.

In order to accomplish these goals, I am investing in the youth resources. One project is investing in providing scholarship for 10 high school students who are under-privileged but intellectually-gifted. CWaCE would like to raise these potentials to be the catalyst of a new generation of conscience-driven, incorruptible leaders of the community and country. Another project in progress is our partnership with the academe in educating the educators and the youth on the “Five Principles of Peace” as a way to curb the rate of moral and political corruption.

We are working on a partnership agreement with the International Peace Leadership College (IPLC ), and Bohol Island State University (BISU) to raise awareness and empower students with new leadership paradigms centered on the “Five Principles of Peace”. In October last year, CWaCE launched our signature project called “Nation without Corruption (NWC)”. Its goal is to raise new generation of young leaders who are responsible and incorruptible steward of our country and its resources. We will be partnering with local and international institutions, NGOs to achieve maximum support and reach our end goal. I strongly believe that the teachers have the critical role in implementing and transforming values system in the society. Without adhering to absolute standard and principles, no matter how much material resources we invested, all of our development agendas will just go down the drain.

5. What challenges are there to be dealt with?

[caption id="attachment_1907" align="alignright" width="300"]Glamorous farmer! Glamorous farmer![/caption]

Merly: In the beginning, it looked as if the mountains of challenges are as high as the lofty goals. But as we move forward to what I call to “an uphill climb to development”, more and more I can see the general view of the situation. By living with them, the more I get to know and understand by heart the daily struggles of people and the community because I am experiencing it myself with my own children. The quality of life in my village is below the sub standard level.

The UN’s so-called “social protection initiatives” becomes an obscure cry in the wilderness – the concept is not even heard of and does not exist yet in peoples’ consciousness. Even as basic of a need as drinking water supply is a big challenge. Not to mention the muddy and rocky roads – it really looked like a “cursed road to forever” in my own experience.

Having lived half of my life in the US, it’s a major challenge is to understand the mindset of the political leaders and equally challenging to understand is the peoples’ default acceptance of a corrupted system . I cannot, for one reason understand how the mighty, powerful and wealthy government leaders, can be so far detached to the reality of the daily lives and the needs of the people in the villages to the point that they become so powerless in terms of providing solutions to the very basic needs of the communities.

There are no existing laws that protect the interests of the farmers. Prices are very unpredictable. The farmers and their produce are in the mercy of the mercenary-like middlemen. Most of lobbyist would only lobby laws in favor of the interest of urban interests. Having said all that, and knowing that as a NGO, partnership with them is critical in getting things done, I pray every day to have the unconditional love and wisdom to work productively with them.

6. Your children, all born in the USA, are in your hometown and living in the project area. Why is this?

[caption id="attachment_1912" align="alignleft" width="300"]Taking a peek at the kitchen. Where is the glorious food? Taking a peek at the kitchen. Where is the glorious food?[/caption]

Merly: There are three reasons behind my decision to move my children to my village in Montesunting. By God’s blessing, all of my children were born above-average intellect and keen awareness of their surroundings. With parent’s guidance and support, I believe the American education system would empower them to become the best in whatever fields they want to pursue. However, the Western educational system puts so much weight on the academic side and competiveness in achieving material success. I feel that in order for my children to be wise future leaders, they need to spend some of their childhood years experiencing the other side of the spectrum so that they can have both experience being raised in the values of the Eastern culture. Then they can have a well-balanced approach in dealing and solving their lives’ challenges.
Secondly, I would like them to spend their childhood and grow in the beautiful environment provided by nature. Nature is the best teacher. There are so many things in nature that are not printed and cannot be describe in textbooks. First-hand experiences are priceless. I believe that children who grow up surrounded by nature will grow to become more peaceful and loving adults.

I myself was a farm girl, when I think back of my childhood memories in the farm, playing by the slopes and hillside and flowery meadows, walking everyday to and from school, it gives such nostalgic and therapeutic feeling to my spirit. I would also like my children to have such beautiful memories of their hometown when they grow up. The third and most important reason is that I would like my children to witness, understand and inherit by heart (not just intellectually) the value of the important work that my husband and I have started.

[caption id="attachment_1914" align="alignright" width="300"]Bursting in colors, life in the village Bursting in colors, life in the village[/caption]

All the investments and labor of love would not mean anything if our second generation cannot inherit and continue with the same degree of love and connectedness. I feel that by seeing and experiencing certain level of difficulties that other children and families in the village are experiencing, when they become adults and choose their passions and professions in life, they will integrate their childhood experiences in deciding who they will be and what role they will play in solving the problems of society.

I would like to pave a way for my children to be able to think and deal with global agendas with local issues in mind. It’s about securing a strong foundation so that our legacy of love and peace can be inherited, practiced, and enjoyed by many more generations to come.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!

Teresa B. Fernandez: Pioneering to End Domestic Violence

By Marivir R. Montebon

Image

"At one time, a mother complained that her husband had broken all her trays of eggs when he was drunk. Another husband had stolen his wife's income from peanut vending. These realities have opened my eyes to the fact that domestic violence has a lot to do with the economic impairment of our women beneficiaries," says Teresa Banaynal-Fernandez, women's rights advocate and one time Cebu-based nominee for the 2005 Nobel Peace Prize for 1000 Women.

That moment of truth, from women's lamentations of abuse, led Tessie to make an organized campaign against domestic violence. At first it was a lonely issue, with her husband in fact cautioning her against prying on private lives. She did not listen to him, of course. She listened to her heart.

Now the campaign against domestic violence, through the Bantay Banay, has reached national proportions, in the legislative and executive offices of government.

Tessie and the women who wanted change have come a long way indeed.

Her nomination to the Nobel (she was the only one for Cebu) was definitely an additional feather on her cap, having gone a long way since her teenage years in the relentless, passionate task of empowering women and the marginalized sectors of southern Philippines. Although the nomination did not make it last year, for Tessie believes it was mileage enough for women’s rights advocates in the whole world to make their works known and recognized. The Philippines fielded 28 women’s rights champions in the entire nomination.

Tessie (born 1953) is a passionate trailblazer in "alternative politics" for its ubiquitous but voiceless urban poor residents. She is a tireless advocate of women's rights that has helped change the lives of many women and influenced government institutions, non-government organizations, and universities to take on such "unpopular" issues as domestic
violence, gender sensitivity, good governance, environmental protection and human rights.

The Lihok Filipina Foundation, the institution that she helped found and is currently executive director, won as the exemplary institution in the Ramon Aboitiz Foundation Triennial Awards in 2006.

When appointed to head Cebu City’s urban poor office in the early 1990s, she conducted a survey on domestic violence and found that six out of 10 women in the community were being battered. This prompted her to form the Bantay Banay program in 1992, a community-based and multi-stakeholder approach to end domestic violence. Police enforcers, social workers, councilors, lawyers, and village chiefs were trained in gender sensitivity and human rights to help them respond to domestic problems.

"It was time to realize that domestic violence and gender sensitivity are public concerns because it is commonly felt by women," asserts Tessie. Barangay (village) volunteers were trained and a referral system was opened where non-government organizations, government agencies and professionals are tapped to help. Bantay Banay has been replicated in 70 cities and towns all over the country, effectively making the issue of domestic violence not only a public issue but also one of governance.

Tessie continues to pursue her other passions, the environment, particularly solid waste management, water conservation, and watershed protection.

PEACE IS POLITICAL

Tessie’s political awakening began in her teenage years in college at Xavier University in Cagayan de Oro City where she took sociology and history. Student unrest was sweeping from Manila, the country's capital to Mindanao, as the young minds in universities grew increasingly critical and vocal about the way Marcos ran the country.

In 1971, on her third year in college, Tessie was among the leaders of a big protest action that demanded for quality services from the school. "We wanted peace in our land, but that which is based on justice. We were openly advocating for reforms," she recalls.

When martial law was declared in 1972, she went back to her hometown in Wao, Lanao where she taught in a parish school. Teaching in her hometown provided a respite from the perils of the Marcos regime, when student leaders were blacklisted by the military as communists and arrested.

After graduating from college in 1972, she went back to her hometown for summer vacation where she was asked by the parish priest to teach in the coming school year. When martial law was declared in September that year, she was informed that her name was in the blacklist. She went into hiding for a month and later surfaced in a military camp in Cagayan de Oro with a character bond from the Archbishop. Tessie then joined the Social Action Office where she took charge of the relief and rehabilitation program for refugees, the youth program, and the Archdiocesan Bulletin.

As a community organizer, she helped the communities in Kawasaki Corporation and the tribal community of the Higaonons in Misamis Oriental. She became training director for Mindanao of the Philippine Ecumenical Community for Community Organizing and supervised the training of organizers in Bukidnon, Misamis Oriental and Occidental, Surigao, and Lanao del Norte.

Her marriage to Bimbo Fernandez, currently city administrator of Cebu City, in 1980 did not deter Tessie from her advocacy work.

In 1981, when she first became a mother, she settled in Cagayan de Oro and continued her work with the squatters in the city. Also at the time, she was involved in alternative law (making the law accessible and useful to people) and Pilipina, a women’s NGO that pioneered the advocacy for gender as a development issue.

In 1982, with a second child coming, Tessie joined her husband in Cebu and worked with him in advocating for low-income housing and experimenting on alternative housing materials using their own house as the example. She also began organizing
the women in the community where they lived, initially around health care issues, land acquisition, and later, income generation.

The fall of President Marcos through the People Power uprising in 1986 opened new political frontiers. For Tessie, it was an opportunity to articulate the issues of the people who had long been silenced by martial law.

During the 1988 local elections, she initiated an electoral forum on urban poor issues in Cebu City that opened the discussion of commonly felt problems in the community by candidates and the urban poor organizations. The forum outlined seven major concerns for the urban poor, summed up under security of tenure and delivery of basic services.

"It was a first attempt at democracy, a kind of alternative politics where the people defined and articulated what they wanted and expected of the political leaders," Tessie says. The forum, led by the political party Bandila, the Urban Poor People's Council, and the Cebuano Development Forum which Tessie herself founded in 1985 and where Lihok Filipina is a
member, later endorsed mayoralty and vice mayoralty candidates whose platforms jived with their concerns.

When these candidates won, they created an urban poor office that the mayor asked Tessie to head. Although she was hesitant to head a government office, Tessie was forced to take on the new responsibility on the insistent prodding of NGOs and urban poor organizations.

The Office for the Urban Poor takes charge of urban concerns such as land acquisition, relocations, basic services, and others. "It was an uneasy undertaking for me. I was used to working in a non-government organization, which was very critical of government. And suddenly, there I was, asked to head a government office. It was very uncomfortable. But I
managed to do what I had to do, and reminded myself that once I become an apologist for the government, it is time to get out," she quips.

Tessie initiated advocacy of the Community Mortgage Program (CMP) for land acquisition of the urban poor authored by her husband, who was then presidential commissioner for the urban poor. The CMP later became a program of the national government, as a response to the land tenure needs of the urban poor.

PEACE STARTS AT HOME

That domestic violence is a social issue became an uneasy realization for Tessie who, alongside her work at the urban poor office, continued to manage the Lihok Pilipina Foundation which had programs for micro credit, production and marketing
assistance, a welfare program for street children, water and sanitation, and women's education.

The foundation’s staff was surprised and alarmed at the low repayment by women in Lihok's micro credit program. Tessie realized that domestic violence probably had something to do with the problem.

"At one time, a mother complained that her husband had broken all her trays of eggs when he was drunk. Another husband had stolen his wife's income from peanut vending. These realities have opened my eyes to the fact that domestic violence has a lot to do with the economic impairment of our women beneficiaries," Tessie says.

"When I touched on domestic violence as an issue, my husband was at first reactive. He asked, ‘Why do you have to touch on something so private to couples?’" Tessie says.

But she was unstoppable and Tessie brought the long misunderstood issue of domestic violence into the consciousness of Lihok Pilipina.

Her office conducted a survey on domestic violence and found out that six out of 10 women in the community were being battered. This led to the formation of Bantay Banay in 1992, a community-based and multi-stakeholder approach to end domestic violence.

Police enforcers, social workers, councilors, lawyers, and village chiefs were trained in gender sensitivity and human rights in order help them respond to domestic problems.

"It was time to realize that domestic violence and gender sensitivity are public concerns because they are commonly felt by women," asserts Tessie.

Since many cases were referred to city hall, the mayor lent financial support to the training of barangay (village) volunteers and opened up a referral system where non-government organizations, government agencies, and professionals are tapped to help. Bantay Banay has been replicated in 70 cities and towns all over the country, effectively making the issue of domestic violence not only a public issue but also one of governance.

Cebu City is among the cities where the gender issue is mainstreamed in its planning and budget processes. Recently, it was one of the three awardees as a Women Friendly City in the Asia Pacific given by UN Habitat and UNIFEM.

The city was also awarded by the Galing Pook Foundation as an outstanding city in the realm of Gender Responsive Governance. Other than politics and women empowerment, Tessie is a staunch advocate of environmental protection. Her urban poor groups
are pioneering in a solid waste management program that segregates recyclables from degradable wastes right in the home.

This effort has been replicated by 11 barangays in the city.

She was among those who started the Cebu Uniting for Sustainable Water which advocates for water and watershed conservation through educational tours, reforestation activities, and sensitive land use plans.

PEACE IS PERSONAL

Image

At the end of the day, among her many roles, Tessie is ultimately the mother of eight children, a role she gladly performs amid the huge challenges of her advocacy work. "Despite my busy schedule, I always have time for my children. I make it a point to attend parents-teachers meetings in school. And I make sure I buy them the stuff they need for school, that I always remember to bring them at the end of day," she beams.

While the children were growing, she would bring her kids to her office. "My bag was always stuffed with crayons, candies, and toys for them so that I could continue with my work while they drew or played in a corner."

Now all the children have grown, and she has much more time for her work. It seemed to go by so quickly, Tessie observes, but raising eight children was not at all easy.

"I had to budget our money very well. I did not want to incur debts, so I made sure we prioritized school and food first.
Until now, our house is a work-in-progress. And since they came one year after the other, my kids did not mind wearing hand-me-down clothes. We try to limit spending and only spent what we earn. This is one of the surest ways to have peace of mind. This is one value I taught my children," she says.

Where does a woman like Tessie get her strength to work as mother and advocate for social change? "After I have done my utmost, I pray that God will take care of the rest. I guess, faith and gut feel just keep me going," she says, smiling.

(This article first came out from the WOMEN'S FEATURE SERVICE) #

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

FEATURED: OSM! Editor to Speak at New York Writers Forum

By Leani M. Auxilio

New York City

[caption id="attachment_1851" align="alignleft" width="300"]OSM! editor Marivir R. Montebon to share OSM! experience to NY writers in April. OSM! editor Marivir R. Montebon to share OSM! experience to NY writers in April.[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1850" align="alignleft" width="300"]Shindig's Yusang Lee in NWU-NY's March forum for writers. Beside him is Tim Sheard, NWU-NY who puts the monthly event together. Shindig's Yusang Lee in NWU-NY's March forum for writers. Beside him is Tim Sheard, NWU-NY who puts the monthly event together.[/caption]

OSM! executive editor and publisher Marivir R. Montebon will speak before New York writers in a monthly forum sponsored by the National Writers Union - New York Chapter on how to effectively build and market one's website. Her online magazine, OSM! (awesome) has garnered over 20,000 in readers and viewers on its 10th month of existence in cyberspace, a record recognized by blogging platform WordPress as impressive and one of the most heavily read websites for 2012.

The forum titled, "For a Great Website, Content is King," will be on April 8, Monday, at 6:30 PM, at Ben's Restaurant in mid-Manhattan.

An author, television host and online producer, Montebon will explain how she has built her web site into an internationally recognized place to visit. Participant writers will learn in the forum how to build their brand and attract viewers to their site with tantalizing, relevant content.

In March 2012, Montebon was given the Woman in Media/Journalism award by the New Jersey-based Pan-American Concerned Citizens Alliance. Montebon also serves as managing editor of the Migrant Heritage Chronicle, a community paper based in Washington, DC.

She has three published books. Her debut work, published in 2000, is entitled "Retracing our Roots: A Journey into Cebu's Precolonial and Colonial Past;" the second book, published in 2007, is entitled "Beyond the Seed Money". It is about successful women micro-entrepreneurs in Cebu. Her third, most recent book, is titled "Biting the Big Apple: Memoirs of a Journalist Turned Immigrant" which is self-published and available at Amazon.com.

On its March monthly forum, Yusang Lee, marketing manager for Shindig, explained to writer participants at the NWU Forum how they can host video chats with multiple participants around the world in real time, at practically no cost, using Shindig as a platform.

A thousand fans, prospects, clients can gather in one place for an interactive video chat such as book launches, presentations, press events, meet and greets, and all types of promotional activities through Shindig. These interactive internet sessions allow participants to watch and listen to a program, and to submit questions and chat with the speaker in real time.

Lee said a Shindig encourages audience engagement by allowing members of the community to talk to one another while interacting with one's brand or listening to one's live presentation, without the cost, administrative time, and effort.

Shindig is a NYC start-up committed to unleashing the unrealized potential of a video chat for an online group of 50 to 1000, founded in 2009 by Yale College, Harvard Law graduate Steve Gottlieb.

The NWU monthly writers forum is put together by NWU treasurer and webmaster Tim Sheard, a novelist and writer of the Lenny Moss mystery novels and Cat Burglar crime films.

(Shindig could be reached www.shindig.com

For forum details, please visit www.nwuny.org)

Sunday, March 3, 2013

ABOUT BITING THE BIG APPLE

[caption id="attachment_1673" align="aligncenter" width="242"]On love day, buy a faithful shirt for her and you, for the price of ONE! On love day, buy a faithful shirt for her and you, for the price of ONE![/caption]

 

By Marivir R. Montebon
New York City

Since it was on sale digitally on amazon.com, Biting the Big Apple has received five star reviews.  I am sharing two of these, written by wonderful women. Thank you so much.

"A wonderfully written memoir: insightful, informative, and funny.
Marivir Montebon shares with us her story in the context of family history
which is an integral part of Philippine diaspora. You will love this book, and
get a deeper understanding of and inspiration from the stories of immigrants, that many of
them are made of courage and faith. It is a must read."

LOIDA NICOLAS-LEWIS
Chairperson
US Pinoys for Good Governance

"A woman's story, an immigrant's story, a single parent's story – all
these and more in Biting the Big Apple.  It's a tale of strength that
threads through the whole book and brings everything together in the
end. It's a tale of triumph that spans three generations, told in an
easy, engaging style, with snippets of history. It's both a personal
journey, and a journey which finds a common tie with other life's
journeys that make this book an interesting read."

SYLVIA HUBILLA
Writer
OSM! Online Magazine

(For the eBook, please go to Amazon.com's Kindle store  http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00BHKHC9O/ref=mp_s_a_1?qid=1361241214&sr=8-6&pi=SL75 . Priced at $9.80, part of the proceeds go to the OSM! Educational Support Program)

[caption id="attachment_1675" align="aligncenter" width="300"]Xocai Dark Chocolate: it is a healthy love. Xocai Dark Chocolate: It is a healthy love.[/caption]

MHC Tinikling Tickles at Half time of Washington Wizards vs. NY Knicks

[caption id="attachment_1823" align="alignleft" width="300"]Thrilling tinikling requires dancers to be fast in the ridiculously furious beat of bamboo poles. Thrilling tinikling requires dancers to be fast and furious.[/caption]

The roaring crowd of the Washington Wizards and New York Knicks was breathtakingly entertained during the half time break by the Philippine folk dance Tinikling courtesy no less than the Fil-Am Heritage Dance Ensemble of the Migrant Heritage Commission (MHC) at the Verizon Center in downtown Washington, DC, Friday, March 1.

Earlier at the opening of the game, 13-year old Filipino-American Kriskatlin Zabala sung the American national anthem.

The dancers: Nicole and Kathleen Calaro, Matthew Aninzo, Joyce and Krishna Mata, Alex and John John Cabrera, Lex Crisostomo, Neng Poliquit and Julie Quitoriano, hopped in and out of the bamboo poles blindfolded.

"That was scary." "How'd they do that?" "Magnificent," were among the remarks from an awed audience.

The dancers were all youth ambassadors for peace of the MHC. MHC co-executive director Grace Valera Jaramillo choreographed the fast version of the Tinikling. The Filipino-American Basketball Association (FABA) partnered with MHC in the halftime presentation and concurrently celebrated the Filipino-American heritage night.

The tinikling dance, one of the most popular folk dances since pre-Spanish Philippines, involves two people beating, tapping, and sliding bamboo poles on the ground and against each other in coordination with one or more dancers who step over and in between the poles in a dance.

[caption id="attachment_1828" align="alignleft" width="300"]Tinikling is a popular Philippine dance mainstreamed by MHC. Tinikling is a popular Philippine dance mainstreamed by MHC.[/caption]

The name of the dance is taken after a bird called tikling, with the term tinikling literally meaning "tikling-like" as it is an imitation of the tikling bird dodging bamboo traps set by rice farmers, or when it hops between grass stems and run over tree branches.

Dancers imitate the tikling's speed by skillfully maneuvering between large bamboo poles.

MHC is a service institution for immigrants in the US, based in Washington, DC, and providing legal assistance, education and youth leadership programs, health support services, cultural development programs, and other social and community outreach programs. (From the Migrant Heritage Chronicle www.migrantheritage.org)

MHC Tinikling Tickles at Half time of Washington Wizards vs. NY Knicks

 

Washington, DC -- ImageThe roaring crowd of the Washington Wizards and New York Knicks was breathtakingly entertained during the half time break 

by the Philippine folk dance Tinikling courtesy no less than the Fil-Am Heritage Dance Ensemble of the Migrant Heritage
Commission (MHC) at the Verizon Center in downtown Washington, DC, Friday, March 1.

Earlier at the opening of the game, 13-year old Filipino-American Kriskatlin Zabala sung the American national anthem.

The dancers: Jolin and Kathleen Calaro, Matthew Aninzo, Joyce and Krishna Mata, Alex and John John Cabrera, Lex
Crisostomo, Neng Poliquit and Julie Quitoriano, hopped in and out of the bamboo poles blindfolded.

"That was scary." "How'd they do that?" "Magnificent," were among the remarks from an awed audience.

The dancers were all youth ambassadors for peace of the MHC. MHC co-executive director Grace Valera Jaramillo
choreographed the fast aversion of the Tinikling.

The tinikling dance, one of the most popular folk dances, in pre-Spanish Philippines that involves two people beating,
tapping, and sliding bamboo poles on the ground and against each other in coordination with one or more dancers who step
over and in between the poles in a dance.

The name of the dance is taken after a bird called tikling, with the term tinikling literally meaning "tikling-like" as it
is an imitation of the tikling bird dodging bamboo traps set by rice farmers. The dance imitates the movement of the
tikling as they hop between grass stems, run over tree branches, or dodge bamboo traps.

Dancers imitate the tikling's speed by skillfully maneuvering between large bamboo poles.

MHC is a service institution for immigrants in the US, based in Washington, DC, and providing legal assistance, education and youth leadership programs, health support services, cultural development programs, and other social and community
outreach programs. (From the Migrant Heritage Chronicle www.migrantheritage.org)

Friday, March 1, 2013

On Women's Month: NO LOOKING BACK

By Sylvia Hubilla
Round Rock, Texas

Down on her knees, Dolores closes the lid of the last huge box with packing tape. She feels so alone and very tired. She surveys several boxes in varying sizes. How do you pack memories of 35 years in boxes like so much junk? Do you label some "HAPPY" and some "SAD"?

No Looking Back. Autumn in Central Park, 2011

Finally, Dolores summons enough strength to leave the house to buy her one-way ticket. "This is it," she tells herself. "No looking back."
Dolores steps off the Cebu Pacific flight under a slight drizzle. Standing on the tarmac at the Manila Domestic Airport, she looks up to welcome the raindrops on her face as a sort of baptism...and a promise. She hurries to get out of the rain, which is pouring by now. At the baggage claim area, she looks for her three small pieces of luggage. So little baggage for such a major move!

She fumbles in her purse to see if she has change for a porter. She has less than P2,000 in her wallet after the amount her mother sent her for her fare. This, plus P1,600 in her ATM – is all the money she has in the world. Not much to show for 35 years of marriage to a practicing corporate lawyer!

Dolores is a pauper – no job, no home, no husband, and worse, 60 years old! At an age when most people are retiring, Dolores is only starting to look for some means of support for herself. With no capital to start a business, and not young enough to easily apply for a job, how does a separated woman like Dolores move on?

In the meantime, her sister and her family have given her shelter. The first thing she does is to sell her wedding band. This gives her the amount to maintain her bank account.

The few jobs she held – being a cashier in a gasoline station, teaching in elementary school – did not even give her enough money for herself, or a little extra for the children's needs. For every time she has a job, her husband would stop paying for household bills and the family's other needs. She had to pawn jewelry given to her by her mother, to pay the electric bill, or even to buy food for the day. For 35 years, the family was always hard-up. Yet the husband played tennis, and later on golf, several days a week!

Incredible as it may seem, for 35 years, her husband kept her ignorant of their financial status. She never knew how much his salary was. She never saw a single pay envelope! The money he gave her barely paid for for food and the kids' school needs.

Dolores could not work full time. She had always been sickly, even as a child. After four pregnancies, her asthma and allergies became worse. She lost her fourth baby because she was teaching at that time and was sick a lot during the pregnancy.

When she worked as the manager of a gasoline station, the regional manager for retail was impressed with her work. He asked her if she was interested in running her own gas station. Dolores was able to convince her husband to grab this chance, since it was difficult to get a dealership. Although the first reaction was his usual, "I have no money," he came up with the amount needed. He told her it came from selling a parcel of land she had no idea he had.

Dolores was always careful not to argue about financial matters because her husband would flare up and a big fight would ensue. Dolores was always made to feel she had no right to complain or look for more money other than what was given her since she did not contribute to the family coffers.

Now Dolores was happy with the new development. She thought this new business would give her some financial freedom at least. But to her great disappointment, what she feared most began to happen again. Because Dolores was supposed to be earning from the business, money stopped coming from her husband.

By this time, the children were all in college. All expenses, including tuition, came from the fledgling business. Dolores could not even afford to give herself salary. She remained in the financial drought she had always been in. Despite Dolores' protestations that at least three years should be given to the business to get its return on investment, her husband would not listen. Worse, he opened credit to the huge corporate business he worked for, which was in the middle of a labor and financial crisis.

Along with all this, Dolores not only had to contend with financial abuse, she was also subjected to emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse on a regular basis. And then, what she was most afraid of finally came. The physical abuse left her literally traumatized, bruised, and trembling with fear. She once told herself that if things came to this, she would surely leave him. But she never did. Instead, she made sure never to cross him.

Throughout their marriage, there had always been other women in her husband's life. She dared not ask where he was going or where he came from. All he needed to do was raise his voice and Dolores would shut up. He even held it against her that she could not give him a son. Her emotions were in tatters, her self-worth almost nil. She found refuge in caring for her children and found solace in her religion.

Being an educated woman, Dolores knew she could have done things to alleviate her situation. She could have gone to the firm's management and complained about his immorality. She could have caused a scandal to shame him. She could have gone to claim his salary. She knew there were laws in the Family Code to help her. But she did none of these. Instead she took pains to cover up and show to the world an ideal family, an ideal father and husband. She even concealed her misery, ashamed to let her children know the truth.

When their children finished college, they all left to work and live abroad. Dolores encouraged them for their sake, not realizing that she would be alone. She still held on to the thought that she would spend the rest of her life, and grow old with her husband. She foolishly told herself that, surely, she could hope for security in her old age.

Dolores tried to ignore the virtually non-existent marriage by frequently visiting her children, who by now had families of their own. Her trips were, of course, always shouldered by her children.

Coming home from the U.S. In 2005, she found her husband totally indifferent and impatient toward her, even cruel with his words. He was rarely home, leaving the house at 6 a.m. And coming home at 1 a.m. He had moved out of their bedroom and slept in another, saying he had gotten used to it in her absence. He made it so obvious she was not welcome in the house.

Dolores made several attempts to talk to him, but as usual, he would raise his voice and leave the house in a huff. She then sought out a friend and asked for assistance to find a lawyer who could help her. She also sought financial help from her children, for her husband made sure she was penniless and ignorant and afraid. He always told her not to go around the city, not to receive mail addressed to her, and not to answer the phone, because there were still cases against her from the failed gasoline business.

Her children were happy she was at last taking steps to help herself. But they wanted her away from their father who could harm her. All this time, Dolores kept her door locked every time her husband came home. She gradually packed her things and stashed everything that would fit in boxes. Only then did she realize that her husband never bought a single appliance they used. Each was either given by Dolores' family, or bought with her earnings from the few times that she worked.

She cried a lot in those two weeks – her feelings of anger, regret, and self-pity overwhelming her. She was desperately trying to get out of the depression that was slowly taking its toll on her body. On the day of her trip, the fever and malaise that simply refused to go away made it difficult, physically and emotionally, for Dolores to get out of bed, get dressed, walk down the stairs, and get out of the house – for the last and final time.

She left Manila 35 years ago to be with her husband – hopeful and so in love. Now, back in the place of her beginnings, Dolores received proof of her husband's latest infidelity – pictures of her 63-year-old balding husband and his 19-year-old paramour.

Dolores now knows she can seek redress through legal measures – the Family Code and the new Anti-Violence Against Women and Children Act (RA9262). And there is a United Nations international treaty for the protection of women's rights that she did not know about.

The Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) was signed and ratified by 180 countries, including the Philippines, in 1981. It has been in force for 25 years!

Article 16 on Marriage and Family states that "women shall have equal rights with regard to ownership, acquisition, management, administration, enjoyment and disposition or property." It is only one among several articles that seek to enforce equality for women in all aspects of life.

Dolores is trying to pick up the pieces of her life. Things, initially, did not look bright. When she tried to open a bank account using her maiden name, she was told it was not possible. Had she lost her identity too? Every move she made seemed to be stymied by that box called "Status". She had joined the ranks of undocumented separated women. How many Doloreses are there?

This is exactly where Dolores stands in her life – 60 years old, no job security, homeless, penniless. But with her self-respect and dignity intact, she can manage to smile – even laugh! And the little she earns doing NGO work is hers to spend .... something she has not enjoyed in a long time.

"Life is not a series of events. It is a series of choices – some almost unnoticeable, some heart-wrenching so that it turns your life upside down and inside out," Dolores tells this friend. "You cannot just let your life happen for you."

But she is FREE, at last! And not looking back.

free at last

 

 

 

_________________

Note from the author:
This story was written and published for the Women's Feature Service for the 25th anniversary campaign of CEDAW, (the United Nations international treaty, the Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination Against Women). Since it is once again the month of women when we also celebrate International Women's Day on March 7, this story once again finds relevance.

On a more current note, despite the fact that 180 countries have signed and ratified this international treaty, the U.S. is not one of them. There is hope however, with the newly appointed Secretary of State, John Kerry who has publicly declared that CEDAW is close to his heart, will finally find the U.S. as one of the signatories to this treaty.