Sunday, June 17, 2012

Trustworthiness

By Marivir R. Montebon

Relationships last because of trust. Nothing will ever glue a relationship more formidably than it can, whether it is a relationship between parent and child, husband and wife, friends, lovers, even boss and employees, king/queen and subjects, or president and the public.

The truth is, a loving relationship is fundamentally rooted on trust. Love is a higher form of expression of selflessness which, in social realm, occurs only when the basic trust for an individual is present.

Psychology stalwarts Sigmund Freud and Erik Erikson have postulated theories on personality development citing trust and the ability to trust as to have developed in the very early stages in life. While Freud calls it the oral and anal stages, Erikson calls its the basic trust vs. mistrust stage. This is when the individual is still in ages 0-5, where he/she basically feels that the need for food and warmth are provided when necessary, then the core trust is developed.

Towards their adult life, children who were not neglected, physically and emotionally, tend to become easily more trusting and trustworthy, these personality theories say. There is great logical sense in that, putting aside factors on culture, personal circumstances, and political and economic conditions.

Perhaps some people may just be so blessed to be born in a nurturing environment that helps shape a trustworthy and loving character in them.

In our issue today, psychotherapist Debbie Almocera talks about getting together with old friends, associating fun with friends, food, and fruit salad in her Cranial Corner.

It is a heartwarming, nostalgic piece, because I wasn't able to join them. In this article, my heart is tickled because I know they were talking lengthily of me in my absence. However, the trust is there, that they spoke well of me and all the others who skipped the reunion. I missed them all right, as well as the belly laughter and the fruit salad.

OSM!'s Debbie Almocera and Ruth Ezra are college buddies, a friendship that has spanned for more than 20 years, and has reached the west side of the world. That is clearly a relationship based on trust, never rotting through time.

Our issue features Yoko Matsushita Cano, a musician who started her studies and career early in the US. She has blossomed to be the fine artist that she wants to be, as well as becoming a mom in these trying times. Trust is one basic element in her relationship with her husband, a Mexican. Trust transcends cultural boundaries, making a relationship work. And she trusts in her talent and with her young family inspiring her, Yoko for sure will continue to shine.

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